What If?
by ProudINsAnitY
Summary: Random ideas on a random day...song parodies and such galore! Harry Potter, featuring quotes and such from Disney Channel and other places...
1. Voldemort had a cat?

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the idea!

Lol is all I'm going to say…

Chapter 1: …Voldemort had a cat instead of a snake?

Night of the Potters' attack… 

Voldemort is at the front steps of the Potters' hideout, his cat at his feet.

"_Alohomora!_" he mutters, and the front door goes KA-BOOM!! The cat prowls in before him, and its ears twitch.

"**Do you here what I hear? A baby cry!**" it exclaims to its master.

"And where we find the baby…" Voldemort starts.

"…**There is milk nearby!**" it exclaims again, and heads up the stairs.

Voldemort sweat-drops, and the cat sees this.

It thinks he doesn't get it, and continues to serenade him: "**If we look in baby bunky there will be…**"

Vodelmort turned to his cat, acknowledging the fact that it might have had a point after all. Seeing this, the cat finished:

"**Plenty of milk for you!**" it states proudly. "**And also some for me!**"

Now Voldemort knew there really wasn't any point in listening to this cat after all.

'Ugh…I knew I should've gotten the snake,' he thought to himself, 'but no0o0o0o we had to get the cat instead! Wormtail…What a cheapskate."

…_And THAT is how He-Who-Has-No-Nose found Lily and Harry Potter. _

---THE END---

This is the result of having a fanfiction account + listening to Disney songs. Yeah, I think I'll be making more parodies…haha…review if you like it and want more, and if you don't like, review anyway to tell me what's wrong!


	2. Cedric sang?

Disclaimer: I'm poor; I don't own anything…ANYTHING!!

A/N: I had to chop up the song a little and change some lyrics so it would make sense. Don't complain, please and thank you!

'_Italicized in 2 quotes'_ – thinking

**Bold print** – singing/part of the song

**These might apply to other stories and chapters as well**

Chapter 2: …Cedric sang his proposal?

It's a week before the Yule Ball, and Cedric wants to impress Cho to get her to go to the ball with him. She didn't seem too impressed with his Quidditch skills, and all her friends called him a pretty boy. So he thought of the next best way to ask her out:

Singing.

He thought he had a pretty good singing voice so he thought, 'What the hell?' (A/N: Wow, he seems to be thinking a lot…)

So, the night before the Yule Ball, after one week of practice, he rehearsed one last time in the shower for his final performance the next day, earning quite a few questioning looks from his fellow dorm mates when he came out. He went to his bed, closed the curtains, and reread the lyrics of the song over before he finally went to sleep.

The next day came about fast and he was ready. He was pumped. He changed into his robes and headed for the courtyard, under the beech tree by the lake, where he told her to meet him.

It was a sunny Saturday considering the snow covering the grounds of Hogwarts. To his surprise, Cedric found many people outside on this winter day…well, many compared to what he thought would be out there. Harry was talking to Ron and Hermione by Hagrid's cabin waiting for their giant friend to come back from within the forest. Ginny was on a nearby bench reading a magazine entitled _Witch Weekly_.

"Hi," Cho said timidly, making Cedric jump a little. He didn't realize he didn't stop walking when he was studying his surroundings.

"Hello," he replied sheepishly, blushing a bit. "Erm…I was hoping for this to be a bit more private so…er…would it be ok if we moved this inside somewhere?"

"Um…" she started, fiddling with her blue and black scarf, "I sorta escaped my friends to come here, and I really don't want them to interrupt so…" She trailed off, looking at him with hopeful eyes.

'_No!' _thought Cedric. _'Not the puppy-dog pout!!'_

"Oh, no that's fine, ok…" Cedric inhaled deeply and prepared for the worst as he noticed that now all eyes were on him. And then he started to sing…

**So…where's the best place to be tonight?**

"Um…that would be the Christmas Yule Ball," Cho replied, caught by surprise in the sudden question.

**Sounds perfect!**

**Let's go down to the Christmas Yule Ball**

**We'll meet there later tonight**

**We can dance 'til it lights**

**Find the prettiest girl…**

Cedric, getting into the song, took Cho by the hand, pulled her up out of her seat, smiled at her, and twirled her around.

**Give her a whirl**

**Right on down to the Christmas Yule Ball**

**Come on…follow me…**

He took her away from the beech tree and into the middle of the snow, and started dancing with her, giving her another twirl.

**You'll be happy to be there**

**Dancing through life**

**Down at the Yule Ball**

**If only because this is what we come to**

**Nothing matter**

**But knowing nothing matters**

**It's just life**

**So keep dancing through….**

Harry had gotten out of his seat on Hagrid's steps and quickly marched his way through the snow towards the dancing couple. As if on cue, Malfoy was walking towards the couple from what seemed like the Durmstrang ship, calling "pretty boy Cedric!" with his two friends Crabbe and Goyle at his heels, also calling after Cedric. Here, Harry was actually thankful that Malfoy existed (gasp!) for his name-calling had attracted Cedric and he stomped away from Cho, leaving her alone.

Harry's Gryffindor courage was bubbling up inside him, and he also started to somewhat sing. Um…Cho? She rounded on him, still smiling from what had happened moments before. She gave him a weak wave and greeted him with a hello. I hope you'll save at least one dance for me… I'll be right there…waiting…all night… Cho flushed at this, and she didn't want to make him feel bad that she already had a date. She looked around for something to help her: behind her, Cedric was still fighting with Malfoy, and everyone else seemed to go back to minding his or her own business. She then spotted the little redhead girl reading peacefully on the bench, and her Ravenclaw cleverness shone through. Oh, that's so kind, But you know what would be even kinder?

**See that tragically beautiful girl**

**The one in the chair**

**It seems so unfair**

**We should go on a spree**

**And not she **

**Gee!**

**I now someone would be my hero**

**If that someone were**

**To go invite her…**

Harry looked over to where she was pointing at, to see that she was pointing to Ginny, not knowing she was part of the conversation. But he didn't seem to realize that it was she, for the only girl in his mind at the time was Cho Chang. Without thinking, he responded to her.

Well, maybe I could invite her! 

**Oh, Harry, really?**

**Would you do that for me?**

**I would do anything for you Cho…**

Cho blushed again, and Harry suddenly ran off, and soon she found out why. Cedric was returning from his argument with Malfoy, and he took Cho's hand in his. Cho had to break the unbearable silence.

_(Cho) _So? _(Cedric) _So I'll be picking you up around eight? 

_**(Cho ) **_**After all…**

**Now that we've met one another**

_**(Cedric)**_** It's clear we deserve each other**

_**(Cho)**_** You're perfect…**

_**(Cedric)**_** You're perfect…**

_**(Both) **_**So we're perfect together**

**Born to be forever**

**Dancing through life…**

Later that day, Gryffindor common room… 

Ginny was so happy Harry had asked her out to the Yule Ball, so happy she was jumping around in her dress and singing to Hermione, seeing it was 7:30 and everyone was getting ready for the Ball upstairs and the common room was empty. And as there was nothing to do, Hermione sang along with her, having fun before she would leave her alone.

Oh Hermione 

**Isn't it wonderful?**

**Finally for this one night**

**I'm about to have a fun night**

**With this 4****th**** year boy**

**Cho had found for me**

**And I only wish there were **

**Something I could do for her**

**To repay her**

**Hermione see?**

**We deserve each other**

**Me and Harry…**

**Hermione, please, try to understand**

**I do…**

Fifteen minutes to the Ball, Library… 

When Harry had shown up for his date with Ginny, Hermione was left alone with nothing to do, so she had headed for the library. There she met up with Cho, who was in a somewhat traditional Chinese dress, with floral imprints and a high neck piece. They started a friendly conversation.

Cho! 

**Ginny and I were talking about you just now**

**And I was just talking about you!**

**I thought you might want to wear this hat to the party tonight!**

She showed her a hat with a rip at the brim like the sorting hat, except it looked newer and cleaner. She heard about how Hermione didn't have a date, and she wanted to make her feel better for reasons unknown.

It's really, um, sharp! 

**Don't you think?**

**You know black**

**Is this year's pink!**

**You deserve each other**

**This hat and you**

**You're both so…**

**Smart!**

**You deserve each other**

**So here!**

**Out of the goodness of my heart! **(Oh that's why…)

_At the Ball…_

Harry didn't feel right about lying to Ginny; she was his best friend's sister. So he decided to tell her…in song…

Listen, Ginny 

**Yes?**

**Uh, Ginny,**

**I have something to confess**

**A reason why**

**Why I asked you here tonight**

**Now I know it isn't fair**

**Oh, Harry, I know why**

**You do?**

**It's because of my first year**

**And you felt sorry for me**

**Well, isn't that right?**

**No, NO!**

**It's because…because…**

**Because you're so beautiful! **

**Oh, Harry, I think you're wonderful**

**And we deserve each other**

**Don't you see this is our chance?**

**We deserve each other**

**Don't we, Harry?**

You know what? 

**Let's dance!**

And so, here's the alternate Yule Ball ending. Everyone lives happily ever after, with the exception of Hermione not having a date but a hat, and Cedric ending up dead by the end of the year, and who knows where the hell Ron went.

A/N: I think I might make a whole other story from this like some sorta Harry Potter: The Musical or something idk. Review, what do you think, buh-bye 'til next time.


	3. Important Author's Note!

**REALLY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!!**

**Sorry if you were disappointed by the update and it not being a chapter, but I'm out of ideas!!**

**Please review and help me!! I need all the help I could get because I've stopped to think and forgot to start again. XP I think I'm just going to make this fic solely for Harry Potter. I don't know, what do you think? Anyways, please help the oneshot-writer's block. Thank you!!**

**Pretty please with sprinklies on top??? And hot fudge...and caramel...no cherries, cherries taste like medicine XP ...please review!**


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